Next to “Waiting Your Turn”, listening is the hardest thing to do.  In our Type A, fast paced work environment, the popular feeling is that you only get ahead by telling people your ideas, telling them how to do their jobs, and telling the customer what they want.

But that is exactly how a leader should not act.  To become a leader in your industry, company, or team, you need to listen and hear what your key stakeholders have to say.  A leader needs to listen, hear, comprehend and process what is being told to them.  They need to understand not only what the person is saying but what they actually mean.

As you develop your skills as a leader, remember that conversations are two way communications.  You need to listen at least 50% of the conversation otherwise it is a lecture.  I have developed some techniques that work well for me.

1.       Take Notes.  By writing down what the person says, you are able to remember and reference their points during the conversation.

2.       Maintain Good Eye Contact.  By actually looking at the person talking, it makes you feel what they are saying.  This will help you look between the lines.

3.       Let Them Finish.  Too often you interrupt the person because you want to make a point or interject a rebuttal.  Wait until their point is made.  It gives you extra time to process their point of view.

4.       Say Nothing.  This works really well when someone is worked up.  Nod so they know you are listening, but let them get it off their chest. 

5.       Paraphrase Their Point.  By repeating the issue or idea back to them, you build consensus in what the topic is.  Reiterating the point also shows you listen and understand them, even if you do not agree.

6.       Ask More Questions.  When someone is really intense about a subject and you are having an issue understanding, ask more questions until you can guide them into what they are actually talking about.

These issues are even more important when you are reading emails or other correspondence.  It is immensely frustrating when someone requests a meeting to discuss something and you answer with a sales pitch.  Listen to what they are asking for- even if ultimately you are trying to sell them something.